Missing Maui

Missing Maui

THE FLIGHT

Because of our business and our American Express Business Gold (see affiliate statement below), we booked a nonstop flight from Salt Lake City to Maui and then from the Big Island to Seattle (nonstop) with a 1-hour layover and on to SLC for 45,000 Skymiles and $11 each. Amazing, right? Just like we did last year, we tried to book a trip for right after Christmas. Between Caitlin’s grad school mayhem and our business going through its crazy busy season, there is nothing better than getting out of Utah’s barren wasteland winter and into some tropical warmth.

We booked this trip way back in March, and as Apericots got crazier and crazier and Caitlin’s graduate school kept swallowing her whole, it seemed like it would never come. Nevertheless, December 30^th, we were on that plane.

Not to complain (OK, I’m complaining) but this flight seemed as long as I’ve ever taken. I kept trying to avoid looking at the “remaining flight time” menu, but naturally I couldn’t avoid it and it seemed like it was going in slow motion. Whatever, I was still Maui bound. As usual, T-Mobile is awesome, and I got a free hour of in-flight Wifi to keep me somewhat entertained, and after what seemed like eternity plus a million, we were off the plane and walking around the balmy Maui airport.

THE CAR

On this trip, we actually went with Caitlin’s older sister and her boyfriend, which (as you’ll see later) was a total godsend. They rented the car, and somehow he pulled off an upgrade to a hybrid, which saved us probably $100 in gas. Win! They came to the airport for us, and since we don’t check bags, we were on the road immediately.

GROCERIES

Everyone knows Hawaii is expensive. But if you have to shop at one of the mom and pop type markets (which I love, because local businesses rule), it gets doubly so. I went for ice cream one night and spent $5 on a Snickers Ice Cream Bar that costs $1 on the mainland, for example.

Maui is even more expensive than Oahu, I think. Right by the airport there’s both a Costco and a Walmart. Since we’d missed the Costco hours, we went to Walmart, and that probably saved us another $50 over going to a place nearer our apartment. Again, as usual, we bought a bunch of groceries so we could avoid eating all meals out. Unfortunately for me, I can never eat any of these foods again (you’ll see). Walmart was crazy crowded, and as a reminder, they don’t use plastic bags anymore, so take your beach bag or something inside, or just buy their $.50 tote. We were on the road like Kerouac.

LI HING AND MALASADAS

If you like sour candy, you’ve gotta just trust me. Buy everything Li Hing in sight and don’t share. It’s some sort of salty-ish powder they put on stuff like Sour Patch Kids. It might be an acquired taste, but so far I haven’t met a single person who didn’t eventually come around. It’s phenomenal. It’s probably my second favorite thing about Hawaii next to the weather.

And on that note, buy as many malasadas as you can and run away from all humans and animals and stuff them all down your gullet at once. They’re my third favorite thing about Hawaii, next to the weather and Li Hing. They’re like little round donuts filled with custard and they will change your life. On second thought, don’t eat Li Hing or malasadas because you’ll never stop obsessing over them. Or maybe that’s just me?

THE APARTMENT

Once again, we booked on Airbnb and it saved us quite a bit over any hotel we could find. Since we had 4 people, we split the cost and it was rad. This place was incredible for many reasons, but mostly because the balcony had the most beautiful view. It made waking up early not as miserable, and it made sitting there at sundown a can’t-miss thing. The host was great, and everything was awesome except the bed in the pull-out couch. That sucked. It was so uncomfortable that Caitlin took the couch cushions and slept on the floor rather than use the mattress in the couch. Luckily, we switched to the bedroom after a couple days and her sister took that bed (and didn’t hate it as much as we did).

The location of this place is also great. It’s just a few minutes walk to Haycraft Beach Park (more on this below, but it’s life-changing), as well as a few minutes walk to a gas station, Carl’s Jr, the harbor, and a little market and café. Even though we had a car, there were times when some people were out with it, so walking was nice.

We got in, unloaded our groceries, and prepared for a week of chillin’ out maxin’ out relaxin’ all cool.

DAY 1: HAYCRAFT BEACH PARK…TURTLES!

As usual, my only rule for this vacation was let me do whatever I want whenever I want…which also happens to be my life philosophy. Because we were sleeping in the front room (large glass door, no blinds), we were up with the sun. No matter, in Maui, everything is all good. As soon as we were ready to go, we walked the 5 minutes or so to Haycraft Beach Park, which is literally right down the road from our apartment. Good location is an understatement!

Haycraft Beach Park is your typical Hawaiian beach park, just a tiny parking lot, a bunch of people with barbeques, and then a nice beach. It was surprisingly uncrowded while we were there and had a nice far-away feel to it even though it was so close. The waves were perfect for snorkeling, so snorkel we did.

After a few minutes in the water, we’d seen some cool fish (angelfish, humuhumunukunukuapua’a, those spiky black things that look like they’d be painful to step on), but our masks kept fogging up so badly that it was getting frustrating. (See below for the solution…yes, pun intended). As I was out cleaning my mask, I kept seeing something in the water but my brain couldn’t make out what it was. A piece of wood? A rock? I asked Caitlin who immediately knew it was a sea turtle. Nice. So back in we went, and in all my times snorkeling on different islands in Hawaii, I’ve never seen as many turtles as we did at Haycraft. In my humble opinion, snorkeling rules no matter what you see. And I’ve seen some cool fish and a squid and a lobster (no octopus yet, that’s my white whale), but seeing turtles is always my favorite thing. They are so cool and these ones were extremely chill. We followed one around for about 15 minutes, and later there were 3 or 4 more just hanging out and eating moss from the reef. Just hovering above them watching them hang out was heaps of fun.

SNORKEL MASK FOG SOLUTION

I know this is probably common knowledge but indulge me for a minute. I’ve used a solution/spray specifically made to “defog snorkel masks” and it sucked. So I thought the whole baby shampoo and water thing was an old wives tale, but decided to try it anyways because I had no other ideas. We bought a travel size baby shampoo and a travel size spray bottle thing and used something like 10 drops of baby shampoo in the 2-ounce bottle, then just sprayed the mask, sloshed the solution around (not with fingers, just let it splash by itself) and dumped out the excess. It bloody worked! I’m a bit ashamed I didn’t know this when I actually LIVED in Hawaii, but alas, live and learn. I went from fogging up every 1-2 minutes to being able to just hang with turtles all afternoon without having to unfog my mask at all. Major score.

THE VIOLENT NIGHTMARE OF MY SICKNESS BEGINS

So far, everything was, as they say in New Zealand, good as gold. We were warm, happy, had good food, and were chilling with sea turtles. Again, how exactly is this my life? I don’t deserve this at all. It was perfect…until it wasn’t.

At this point I know you, dear reader (hi mom) are going to say something along the lines of, “Wahhhhh, you got sick in Maui, poor baby.” And I totally agree. But I will say, something about being sick away from home just makes it feel worse in a way. Even in Maui.

Look, nobody cares or wants the details. Suffice it to say I was having a nice conversation with a friend on the beach, called my mom, and decided to head home to eat. Within 15 minutes, my stomach started hurting. Within 2 hours I was throwing up more violently than I ever have, at least that I remember. But I didn’t want to be doing this projectile vomiting in the apartment where everyone could hear (with a doctor and a nurse in the apartment, I guess I would have been well taken care of), so I went outside into the empty, muddy field across the street. But then I couldn’t stand up anymore and got that awful pins and needles sensation in my hands and face and ended up on my back in the dirt. And I heard Caitlin calling my name from who knows where, I tried to yell out to her and, between vomits and gasps for air, she finds me collapsed in an empty muddy field surrounded by piles of puke. Ah, sweet Maui memories.

MISSING MAUI

The only reason I tell that story, besides the fact it’s kinda funny, is so you know why I ended up doing nothing for most of the trip, and so you’ll understand why my story will have to be told through third parties. Nobody wants to hear about me watching 12 hours of college football or staying up all night sick. So, I missed most of Maui after this incident, but luckily Caitlin’s sister and her boyfriend were with us so she could still go have fun. Trust me, if I ruined her Maui trip, I would never hear the end of it. But it turns out only my Maui trip was ruined, so it was all good.

DAY 2: NORTH BEACHES AND HONOLUA BAY, HALEAKALA HIGHWAY

I spent this day watching the College Football Playoff (if I was gonna be sick, this was a good day to lie around, at least). I wasn’t there, but they went to Honolua Bay during the day. Caitlin said there was decent fish and a few turtles, but it was mostly just fun for them to explore a new part of the island.

(Also, as a side note, Caitlin’s sister and her boyfriend went on a snorkel tour (saw lots of whales, as I’ll mention later) and took surfing lessons. If they didn’t have jobs and careers and stuff I’d ask them to blog about it but…not gonna happen. If any of my dear, loyal readers (hi mom) want to know particulars of these excursions, hit me up and I’ll provide details.)

That afternoon, they came back to check on my rotting corpse, and were shocked and dismayed to find me alive. They offered me the chance to come on a long and winding car ride, which I surprisingly declined, and they were again off on an adventure, this time to the Haleakala summit.

Again, I wasn’t there, but all 3 of them raved about this experience. Apparently it was an hour and a half drive, mostly stop and go traffic, and super winding. Not the most fun, apparently. It also cost $25 to get to the summit, but luckily, as you’ll see later, that pass also got us into the national park at the end of the Road to Hana.

The cool part, so they say, was watching the sun set from over 10,000 feet above sea level. They were above the clouds and saw an airplane cruise by beneath them. Sounds trippy. They did say it was super windy and crazy cold up there, so as soon as the sun set they were back into the car and headed home. I was bummed I couldn’t be there, but there’s always next time…Hopefully.

DAY 3: ULULANI’S SHAVE ICE AND MAUI FARMERS MARKET

When I woke up on day 3, I hadn’t eaten in 36 hours, felt awful, hadn’t slept, and basically hoped Maui would sink to the bottom of the sea. But at the same time, I was going stir crazy and there was no college football on TV. What was I supposed to do?!

Luckily, my friend Babwe (who you may remember from Iceland), who knows more about Hawaii and loves Hawaii more than anyone I’ve ever met, gave me some tips, and while Caitlin’s sister and her boyfriend went on a snorkel tour, I felt like I had to get out of the house or I might leap from the 5^th story balcony. So, without a plan, we hit the road, me holding a barf bag just in case.

Now, before I say this, if you’re a diehard Oahu shave ice fan, skip this section. I think Matsumoto shave ice is overrated. I’ve been there in Hale’iwa several times on Oahu, and I know the hype and I’ve seen their shirts all over the USA and I’ve waited in their obscene lines and I’ve never felt like it was that good. I mean, I don’t love shave ice that much anyways, so yeah. Sue me. So when my friend suggested Ululani’s, I was like oh great more overpriced ice shavings with a splash of crappy artificial flavor. Great. But I must tell you, mine eyes hath been opened!

When Caitlin and I hit the road, all I wanted to do was drive near the coast and pray not to throw up. But after about 5 minutes of aimless driving, Caitlin was already restless to go somewhere. So I suggested Ululani’s, even though I thought it would be overrated, and we happened to be close by, so off we went.

Yes, the line here can be long and slow-moving. Yes, it’s overpriced for ice chips, but in Hawaii, what isn’t overpriced? But yes, it’s amazing and delicious and life changing and perfect and wonderful and enjoyable and tasty and great. I highly suggest the coconut with coconut ice cream underneath. Just trust me, it rules. Coming from someone who doesn’t love shave ice, it’s the best I’ve ever had and it’s not even close.

As an added bonus, in the same parking lot as the Kihei Ululani’s location there is Maui Farmer’s Market, and it rules too. We bought fresh fruit here and the passionfruit gave my life meaning again. (If you haven’t had passionfruit before, first, repent, and second, go get some. You chop it open and slurp out the slimy goop and seeds and it’s amazing). We went back several times and the passionfruit and mandarins were phenomenal. It’s a great side activity while waiting for the shave ice.

COVE PARK PEOPLE WATCHING

After the shave ice, I was feeling slightly less dead but not much. So, again, we had no plans and too much time (shoutout to Conor Oberst) and Caitlin decided to find the nearest beach area since we had some rad beach chairs supplied from our Airbnb. We were fairly close to Cove Park, and it turned out to be a super cool area.

First, there’s a massive grass field with a big rock retaining type wall in front of it, and over the wall are a bunch of boulders and the beach. I had zero expectations because I was just glad I didn’t die, but it turned out to be the perfect place for a zombielike creature such as I. There were HEAPS of surf lessons going on, as well as lots of body boarding and other activities. Needless to say, I didn’t participate, but it was nice sitting near the wall watching everything happen. If you need a chill place to be entertained whilst doing nothing, this is the place. We stayed a couple hours and it was better than sitting at the house, so it was a win for both of us.

808 STREET GRINDZ FOOD TRUCK

At this point, I was pushing close to 40 hours or more without significant food, so Caitlin was convinced I needed to eat and we drove around until we found a group of food trucks. While I dry heaved in the parking lot, she realized maybe I shouldn’t eat and made a long and soul-searching decision between the 4 trucks. She settled on a place (turns out it has quite a few locations around Maui) called 808 Street Grindz and, if you know Caitlin and how much she loves food, let’s just say she was pleased with her choice. Very pleased. She got a fish taco plate and ended up not being able to finish it (again, very strange for Caitlin) but was happy to have leftovers later. I realize you can get seafood anywhere in Hawaii, but she swears these ones were amazing and we ended up going to another location to get more.

(Speaking of food, do yourself a favor when you go to Hawaii and eat a ton of L&L Barbeque. It’s life changing. Get katsu chicken plate lunch and thank me later. It’s by far the most food for the least money if you’re eating out, and it’s incredible food.)

From there, we just headed back to the apartment. I know it’s not super exciting, but I was still unsure if I was living or dead, so I sat on the balcony and watched an awesome Maui sunset while praying I wouldn’t be sick for our road to Hana drive the next day. (Spoiler alert: I was, but I somehow overcame this massive adversity and was able to sit in a car for 8 hours.)

DAY 4: ROAD TO HANA

I’m just gonna get this out of the way: Chewable Dramamine sucks, the road to Hana is insane for someone who A) gets carsick (like me) and B) has been puking (like me) and I probably made this road trip miserable for everyone. I was excited to do the drive because it’s iconic and famous and something you HAVE to do on Maui, so I was determined to go whether healthy or not. I hadn’t puked for about a day, so off we went bright and early. We had big plans, we did. And by about an hour into the drive, those big plans of mine were dead and gone.

See, I knew I’d get carsick. I knew that even before I was flu-sick. Before the trip I just told everyone I wouldn’t care, I could handle it, the drive would be worth it, whatever. Then, when it actually started, I wasn’t so tough. I bought some chewable Dramamine, and that abomination of orange flavor will haunt my dreams until I die. They actually made me feel sicker. And an hour into the drive, when we were barely getting on the actual road to Hana, I tapped out. Kinda.

I was already bummed out because I’d let my wife down by being sick for several days. I figured her sister and her boyfriend would want me dead between the loud puking, the lying around, the lack of energy, and basically the chance I was going to spread this around like Tic Tacs. So I felt like I HAD to do the road to Hana. But as we got into the drive, I realized that even though I wasn’t complaining per se, I was just miserable and everyone knew it, and by default I felt like I was making everyone else miserable. I was queasy and weak and just lame. So I decided I was going to hitch back down to the beginning of the road to Hana (no cell service for like 99.9% of the drive) and get an Uber when I reached civilization. I knew my trip sucked, but I wasn’t gonna ruin it for the other 3. So off I went, walking down this crazy narrow road, simultaneously hoping to not get hit by a car but also for a car to be crazy enough to pick up this weird hitchhiker.

After maybe 15 minutes of walking (more like a heavy slog), I got super queasy, threw up all over the Hana highway, and all my problems were (almost) solved. So this is getting way too long, but in essence, I threw up, decided I now felt good enough to go on (heroic, I know), walked back to where they had dropped me off, and miraculously they were still there. Off we went to Hana, part 2!

THE APP

Prior to the drive, Caitlin’s sister downloaded what I dare say is the coolest app I’ve ever experienced. It’s called the Shaka Guide Road to Hana Maui Driving Tour and she said she paid $5.99 (I think). So bloody worth it!

Now, I’m kind of a Luddite, I hate technology (OK, mostly just how expensive it is), and I am not much for new things like apps I haven’t already had for 5 years. I mean, I’m still using an iPhone 5 (Not 5S, mind you) and it’s great. So maybe you’ve seen apps like this before. I haven’t, so eat my shorts.

The app is basically a narrated guide, but the thing that blew my gourd is that it works offline (good, since there’s 0 service 90% of the drive) and is all GPS. So as you’re driving, it suddenly comes on and says, “As you pass these next trees on the right, pull over in about 100 feet and you’ll see a clearing you can walk down into,” and so forth. It’s legitimately a tour guide in your car. Now, would I have preferred to listen to Bob Marley on the drive? Yes. Does the guy’s voice get annoying? Oh yes. Are his cheesy jokes awful? Oh yes yes. But it’s so cool to actually know what’s going on and to learn about all these cool places. I’m not going to go over the drive stop by stop, but the black rock beach (Kaumahina) is very cool, and the views from different parts of the road rule. The app is 100% worth getting.

PIPIWAI TRAIL

At the end of the falls, we drove to Haleakala State Park, which is a where you can go on the Pipiwai Trail to a couple waterfalls. Entrance is $25, but since Caitlin had gone to the mountain drive a couple days before, we got in with that pass. Lesson? Save your pass! You can also see the Seven Sacred Pools, which Caitlin and I didn’t have a chance to do due to time and me being a giant puking baby.

The Pipiwai trail is super easy, it’s basically a walkway all the way to Waimoku falls at the end. Surprisingly, due to all the bamboo (which is bloody amazing), it gets shady and quite cold, so I’d take a jacket. A few minutes in, there’s a really ran banyan tree that was fun to chill at.

MAKAHIKU FALLS…OR NOT

According to the trail sign, there was a waterfall called Makahiku only ½ mile into the hike. Since I was still under the weather (have I mentioned I was sick? I really don’t think I’ve mentioned it), I thought I might only go that far and was happy to only have to walk half a mile to see some cool falls…or not.

I have no idea why, but Makahiku falls were…gone? I kinda hope I somehow just looked in the wrong direction or something, although I would feel pretty dumb. But we went to the lookout point and, uh, there weren’t no falls. So, the heroic being that I am, I decided to do the next 1.5 miles and go to Waimoku falls.

BAMBOO FOREST AND WAIMOKU FALLS

I’m not sure why, but the bamboo forest seemed super eerie to me. It was crazy quiet, and these massive stalks of bamboo were blocking most of the remaining light, so it was getting dark. And they all just swayed, some of them creaking, so it was just a weird and creepy walk down this path. I kept looking as deep into the bamboo as I could, trying to see if I could tell if a person happened to be there. No chance, it’s too bloody dark. But a really cool atmospheric walk worth doing. At the end, Waimoku falls are cool, not life changing. It seemed a bit skinny (maybe it always is), like it didn’t have a ton of water coming down at the time. But nevertheless, it’s pretty insane to see a 400-foot waterfall. It was a nice ending to a long and winding day, and we leisurely walked back to the car where the real adventure began.

DRIVING HOME SUCKED

We used our GPS (phones worked at the state park) and it told us to go this other direction away from the way we’d come. It was, at this time, pitch black, with no lighting whatsoever on most of the road. And did I mention the road is really tiny and winding and in lots of places it’s one-lane bridges where you just have to hope people know what they’re doing? And, for good measure, there are occasionally cattle just roaming the roads. I’ve seen cattle crossing signs before, but I’ve never actually seen a cow roaming a pitch-black road at night…until this. So the only thing I’m saying is be careful, and bring food and beverages. Lots. I was so hungry by the time we got on the road I was not a nice person. And after another hour and a half drive? Angry. Very, very angry.

DAY 5: MALUAKA BEACH

The highlight of our final day in Maui was meant to be whale watching (spoiler alert…it wasn’t), so we decided to spend a leisurely morning at Maluaka beach. This beach is, once again, famous for sea turtles, but once again, we saw heaps more at the place 5 minutes from our flat than we did here. Still, the beach here is gorgeous. There’s a bunch of cool hotels right on the waterfront and there were actually a few trees right before the sand, which was nice for a beached whale like me to just sit and lounge and read in the shade. It was a nice place and parking was free and fairly easy to find (the lot was full, but the road had plenty of shoulder parking), but I wouldn’t say it was necessary to a Maui trip. Caitlin did step on a double-thorned tree twig on the way out though, so beware.

From here, we went back to Ululani’s (amazing, I swear), and while some of us waited in line, I snuck off back to the Maui farmers market and bought more passionfruit. From there, we were home to change and get ready, so I thought, to see a whole heap of rad whales. Alas, ‘twas not to be.

SEA MAUI WHALE “WATCHING” TOUR

What was meant to be the grand finale of our time in Maui turned out to be a grand…lame thing. We booked with Sea Maui for $45 per person I think. Finding the place was harder than I thought, as we had to walk through what looked like an abandoned alley to get to the meeting spot on the beach. Maybe we took a wrong turn. Anyways, I get that whale watching is not guaranteed to see a whale (except I saw signs for certain tours that DO guarantee something…who knows what that is), but I thought this kinda sucked. There was an open bar, so people were having a great time, but as someone who doesn’t drink anything harder than Red Bull, it was not enticing. Plus, the Diet Coke was putrid. Like, have you ever consumed sno-cone liquid syrup? Yeah, that was it. No carbonation, it was more like juice than soda. But I digress. They also had a guy onboard playing an electric guitar playing and singing Hawaiian-ish versions of famous songs, which probably sounds cooler than it was. It was extremely loud and made talking more of a hassle than a necessity. Still, if we saw whales all these minor details would be overlooked, right?

Plus, Caitlin’s sister and her boyfriend had seen all sorts of cool whales and tails and breaches while on a snorkel tour…it wasn’t even a whale watching tour! And they saw heaps! So we figured it was a given that an actual whale watching tour would, I don’t know, see whales? Wrong. The closest we got was seeing a couple water spouts and a whale tail like 8,000,000 miles away. It was pretty much like a speck in the water but they told us it was a whale tail so we had to believe them. And…that was it. We kept thinking we would see something and all of the sudden we’re heading back to land. It was so weird, there was no narration, nobody telling us anything cool about whales or where to look or what we might expect…just a dude playing a guitar way too loud and some girls serving liquor.

I think it can be best summed up thus: A guy on the trip who seemed to have a lot of professional photography equipment and who wasn’t getting hammered (and thus led me to believe he might have been there as a photographer for work, rather than for fun), looked pretty stoked at the beginning. He was taking heaps of landscape shots and seemed content. As the trip went on, he looked less and less amused until he finally put his equipment away. Someone came and asked him if he got any good shots, and I overheard this less-than-enthused response: “No. I saw a couple blow spouts but who cares? I don’t even know if I saw a tail.”

And so it goes.

WHALER’S VILLAGE MALL

One thing I love about Oahu is that you can be on the North shore and it feels like you’re a million miles from civilization. It just feels like a chill island where you relax forever. Then, you drive an hour and can be in downtown Honolulu and Waikiki and it’s like a major city. It feels like a different world. And to me, that’s fun, having that mix. Which is why I actually enjoyed Whaler’s Village, which is where the tour picked us up and dropped us off.

It’s basically just an outdoor strip mall. It’s not life changing or anything, but after feeling so secluded for a lot of the trip, it was fun to be in what felt like a city. That probably sounds dumb, but whatever. I liked it. I REALLY liked the chocolate peanut butter Haagen Daaz ice cream I ate as well as the ghetto food court pizza, but more than anything it was just fun to be out and about. Luckily, Sea Maui validates parking so we didn’t have to pay some obscene parking rate. Unluckily, my parking ticket blew out of my hand onboard the Sea Maui boat as I got it out to be validated. Seriously. And a lost stub is $45. No thanks. Luckily, again, I got a new ticket from Sea Maui, went to the guy in the booth guarding the parking lot, explained the situation, and he was cool. No $45 charge. Lucky me. With that, our adventure on Maui had come to an end. On to the Big Island we go…except…

DAY 6: PRICELINE AND HERTZ, YOU JUST MADE THE LIST

The next morning was spent packing and getting ready to head to the Big Island. About an hour before we left our flat for the airport, I got a call from a Hawaii number. It was some dude from Hertz, where we’d rented our car on the Big Island through Priceline. Here’s a brief summary of our conversation:

Hertz guy: “Yeah, you booked your car for 3pm. We close at 3pm. Sorry, come back Saturday morning.”

Me: “The website, both Priceline and Hertz, said you guys were open later. Can someone stick around so I can just grab the keys? Our apartment is 30 minutes from the airport and we don’t have any alternatives.”

Hertz guy: “Not gonna happen. Come back Saturday or call Priceline, they booked you wrong. Bye.”

Cool, eh? So a reservation we’d had for over a month somehow falls through 2 hours before we arrive. I called Hertz, and can you guess what they said? Call Priceline, it’s not our fault. So I call Priceline, and I know this is going to be hard to believe, but they told me to call Hertz, that there was nothing Priceline could do.

It was really fun to deal with this as we waited to board a flight. In the end, 2 things: One, you suck Hertz and Priceline, you just made my list. Two: Thank you Avis, not only were you cheaper but you actually had a car. Saved, but barely. And then we were off.

My final asking of you, dear reader (aka mom) …What did we miss in Maui? What’s the best thing to do/eat/see? Hit us in the comments or send us a line at sup@jetsetwanderlife.com, or find us on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.